Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I have a reading level above third grade

I can read

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

Why aren't there any Indian girls married to Chinese guys but Chinese girls married to Indian guys?

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

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When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

Why did Britain steal Gibraltar from Spain?

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I don’t buy bullshit

What are some reasons why some men choose to live alone instead of getting married?

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

How do you relax?

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

Would you join a gym or workout at home and why?

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

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I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I'm British and feel ashamed of the crimes of British colonialism. What should I do?

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

When a narcissist mad at their new supply, do they take it out on the old supply?

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I see through liars

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I caught my neighbor leaving his 12-year-old son home alone and he has not come back in 6 hours. Should I call CPS?

I actually pay taxes

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

How do you handle family members who ask for handouts?

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I don’t cotton to rapists

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I understand how hurricane paths work

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I know who the president of Turkey really is

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I can count

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I have complete contempt for fakery

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions